When he was very young, Miles would tell his mom, “boys need dogs.” He really wanted a dog. We got a dog for Christmas, Toby. He’s the best dog. So sweet and loving. He is the best companion a boy could have.
Are there lessons in grief? Can we learn anything from it? One thing I have learned is that anybody who has experienced this kind of loss, the kind so enormous that it changes you, has little in common with people who have experienced what may appear on he surface to be a similar loss. I lost my son. Someone else may have lost a son. But it ends there. Each of us is unique in our suffering and confusion. If I have learned anything it is that loss can deepen the chasms between us. We are each truly alone.
I have also learned that we need to not feel alone. In the darkest times, we need to have each other. We sometimes need to be taken care of and we need sometime to carry us forward when we cannot move on our own power. This is all secondary. When you get right down to it, if I have learned anything it is that we are each deeply alone.
There are a lot of great Nilsson songs on The Point soundtrack. His sound is so distinctive and original.
I wonder if those experiences affected him later in life. How did a movie like The Point affect his tastes and perceptions? It was not a huge part of his life. We watched it a lot for a short period. Did these little things shape his experience of the world beyond enjoying them for the time he sat and watched?
Miles liked The Point, a cartoon movie we had on VHS. We watched a lot of movies. I held him on my lap, nestled into me as we watched Disney Sing-a-Long videos or Toy Story. we had a lot of videos and DVDs. We did so much together and when we had some downtime after a walk or in rainy weather or just when we wanted to, we would watch movies. We watched The Point when he was very young. Harry Nilsson did all the songs. He wrote some great tunes and I love his voice.