Today I was at my desk, deeply engaged in something at work for ten or fifteen minutes. I finished the task,and my mind searched for the next task, the next thing to occupy my attention. My thoughts automatically turned to Miles. What is he doing? I assumed Miles was at college and in between classes or in the cafeteria or looking for places to skate between classes. I was comforted by the fact that he is out somewhere in the world being adventurous and meeting new people. But I know for real that its all a sham, an illusion that my mind believed in for a moment. I came to me at first as a real thought and I dwelled on it like it was real. I imagined him walking across campus in the sun and heat, so happy to be in college. I guess after 18 years, your mind digs some deep ruts that are hard to get out of, no matter what happens. I am fine with having the groove in my thinking, and I hope I go back to it more.
My friend Matt also introduced me to Brian Eno. I never listened deeply to Eno until very recently. I wish I could share it with Miles because he would be able to connect the dots. Eno is like the hub of the wheel for so much music—Talking Heads and David Bowie, Roxy Music and ambient music. The Microsoft sound. It would have been fun to listen and talk about it, explore some other related music and reveal to each other how important he is.
This particular song really speaks to me. It is elegiac and lonely. The chorus, “I’ll come running to tie your shoes,” is such as simple gesture of kindness, what a father does for a son. I tied a lot of shoes, lots of Miles’s shoes.
I write a lot about memory and imagination. I combine the two in my day to day experiences. I imagine Miles as a boy and he comes running around the corner in the house or he comes running down the path or he comes running across the playground. Yes, I will tie your shoes. As many times as you need me to.