Are there lessons in grief? Can we learn anything from it? One thing I have learned is that anybody who has experienced this kind of loss, the kind so enormous that it changes you, has little in common with people who have experienced what may appear on he surface to be a similar loss. I lost my son. Someone else may have lost a son. But it ends there. Each of us is unique in our suffering and confusion. If I have learned anything it is that loss can deepen the chasms between us. We are each truly alone.
I have also learned that we need to not feel alone. In the darkest times, we need to have each other. We sometimes need to be taken care of and we need sometime to carry us forward when we cannot move on our own power. This is all secondary. When you get right down to it, if I have learned anything it is that we are each deeply alone.