Day 358: The Fairest of the Seasons

I haven’t written enough in these posts about memories of Miles. I have dwelled somewhat on memories, but not enough, not enough. I wanted to jog my memory so I looked at my old blog. I posted descriptions of my days for several years. My family and friends could see what was up and I can look back to see what I did. I discovered that we had such busy days. I rediscovered a time when Miles was growing up and discovering his independence. In 2007 when Miles was 11 he and his friend Zak when to a WVU football game together. Then that night he and I went to see the Holy Grail at the Warner Theater. We went there a lot together. I miss seeing movies downtown with Miles, in Lewisburg and Morgantown. We had our places we went and we loved to go there together. That day I found was in the fall. Autumn, such a season. I used to love it but now I find the transition hard. And this year I hurt my back but it’s getting better.

One thing I remember so fondly is that Miles loves Halloween.  He and his friend Zach had the best costumes. I wonder what he’d dress up as this year.

Juno Halloween 2009 Skate Pig Halloween 2010 Yoko John Halloween 2008

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Day 357: I’ll Keep It With Mine

I was thinking about seeing Stop Making Sense with Miles last year. I was looking through old diaries and blogs that I kept to chronicle our days. Many of the movies we saw together were unmemorable. I read my account and I do not remember that day or that movie. But seeing Stop Making Sense was remarkable and memorable. It was the last movie we saw together. It was fun to see. We talked about it and we talked with friends outside the theater about it when it was over. Nico’s screen test looked at us from across the street in the Samek Museum’s window display. It is something small– seeing a movie together– but it is something I will remember fondly forever and probably talk about it as being more important than it was at the time. I remember things tragic and anodyne in such detail, but all the details are important when he is involved and I need to remember.

Day 356: These Days

When I first started to listen to the Velvet Underground in high school, I fell in love with Nico and her sultry voice. Of course I fell in love with Nico. Who wouldn’t?

I wondered about her, way back in the days before the Internet when it was hard to find obscure information. I found out she died pretty young. I found out she also recorded some solo albums. Somebody told me they weren’t very good so I never tracked them down. I don’t remember who it was who told me so. Too bad I listened to that person. My life might be so different if I had tracked them down and heard them with my own ears.

I was walking to work recently and it was chilly. The ground was covered in frost. It reminded me of walking to school as a kid in high school and junior high. I noticed one morning on a similar day that my hair was frozen. I had taken a shower that morning and my hair was wet. It was cold enough to freeze my hair. It felt amazing, like a new discovery. My hair froze! I didn’t know that could happen. It was like I discovered something completely new. I so rarely have that same feeling anymore.

I remember where I was when I realized my hair was frozen. It was in the funeral home parking lot half way between my house and school, near the Rax restaurant. Near that same spot, I once saw a truck crash into the big glass windows of the restaurant as it lurched from the road and up over the sidewalk. The people inside scattered. I had the same feeling, of witnessing something entirely unique. But this time, my heart raced in fear as well.

Day 355: Wires

Miles and I watched this video together and we laughed out loud to it. The song is great and the video is surprisingly silly for such a harsh looking group. I remember I watched it first and then we sat down to watch it together. I remember hearing him laugh when it got funny. I remember the moment vividly, Miles in the red chair with the old clunky laptop on his lap. He was in high school. It was in Lewisburg. He was wearing his green army jacket that says “Bomb Hills Not Countries” on the back.

Day 354: Wires

Songs pop up on my iPhone and sometimes the songs are new to me. I do not have much space on my phone for music, but I always add some albums that I know Miles listened to but which I am not familiar with. This song popped up and I really liked it. I like these little surprises. They are tiny reminders, good thoughts that illuminate the day.

Day 353: Take Me to the River

These posts reflect a deep current of thought and emotion. It is a channel that has found its course somewhere within me. It sometimes surges and overruns its banks. It usually subsides, but it sometimes comes to the surface past its boundaries and won’t go away. These posts are plumbing those depths past the day-to-day surface appearances. These posts are explorations into what is happening deep below, not to try to control them but to understand them. I try to state facts, the truth of what I perceive within me. But it is hard to discern what happens in these depths. I do not express them in my day to day life and sometimes my only perception of them is when I sit down to write and reflect on the past, the present, and the impossible futures I imagine.

Day 352: You Belong To Me

The Shrek soundtrack has a lot of great songs on it. John Cale singing a Leonard Cohen song? A song by Eels about a pet monster? A Joan Jett cover? yes, yes, yes.  I think the soundtrack was one of the first albums Miles and I listened to on heavy rotation. It shaped our early relationship with music together. We would dance and jump around to the songs on the soundtrack.  I remember in our house on Short St we would have so much fun with music and just mess around imagining things, like wild pigs running around wild and loose in the house.

This song, “You Belong To Me,” is on the Shrek soundtrack, but not this version. This version is by the Flat Duo Jets, a great band from North Carolina that I saw live at the Nyabinghi Dance Hall