Day 335: All I Want

All I want is a few small changes here and there in the past that might alter what happened last year. All I want.

I think about times when Miles was little and he wanted something. So much of parenting is negotiating. Why can’t he have something that he really wants? I was 24 when he was born. I am sure I could have done so much better. We did not have much money to spend, so I could not give him everything he wanted, but I gave him what I could. When I was young, I gave him my time. I did not play golf or go to football games or spend my time or money recklessly. But I could have been home more. I could have played fewer softball games. I could have spent less time at work. But I spent many hours and days with Miles and with Owen, just us and sometimes with friends.  I do not regret any time we spent together. Walking. Listening to music. Playing in the yard. Going to the park. Seeing a movie. Getting pizza. Just sitting around. I wish I could have given him more. I wish I could have given him more of what he wanted.

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